The Blooper Review
Defense Lawyer:
"I Can't Wait to Fight the Client's Parking Ticket".
"Pubic libraries are a foundation of democracy."
"He is a hero in the eyes of the pubic."
Miss Steaks by Hungry Lawyers
Collected from attorneys, judges, colleagues, and student writing by Professor Suzanne E. Rowe, the James L. and Irene R. Hershner Professor at the University of Oregon School of Law: Amusing Mistakes Your Computer Won't Catch, Oregon State Bar Bulletin, November, 2011.
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"The plaintiff cannot establish that the defendant engaged in willful and wonton conduct."
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"The defendant exercised control over the plaintiff by marinating a right to substitute its own worker for the plaintiff."
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"The state was able to prove a delectable amount of cocaine was present on the premises."
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"When the plaintiff could not perform her work obligations, the defendant fried her."
What Will the Judge Think?
The plaintiff defiantly wants to continue this case to a later date to provide more time for discovery.
These highly individualized claims are unique to each plaintiff.
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"There is a duel aspect to my client's defense."
Lawyers Representing Hungry Clients
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"At the end of the regional land use consultation the steakholders voted on the four proposals."
Headlines That Say it All - Or Too Much
"Homicide Victims Rarely Talk to Police"
"Marijuana Issue Sent to a Joint Committee"
"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says"
"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"
"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"
"Teacher Strikes Idle Kids"
"Miners Refuse to Work after Death"
"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"
"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"
"Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge"
"Bar Trying to Help Alcoholic Lawyers"
